Catch Up and Good Things Are Coming.

Not two days after I graduated, my poor girly got a really bad fever.  She would cry and not sleep and not eat and she just wanted me to hold her.  I had no idea what was wrong.  I gave her baby Tylenol and sat and held her all she wanted.  I gave her tons of baths and lots of milk.  I found out a few days later that 6-8 teeth were coming in all at the same time.  No wonder my poor girly was so sick..  She now has all but two teeth.

Since graduating, she has learned to say so many words.  She has learned her body parts... eyes, ears, nose, mouth, chin, cheeks, elbow, arm, fingers, toes, knee, foot,... and animal sounds.  She does best with dog (ruff) and lion ( roar).  But she gets such a kick out of being the center of attention.  She dances a lot.  She's learned to tumble and loves to show it off.  Now she tries to sing and dance at the same time.  James and I call each other dear and she has picked up on that and now calls "dear... dear" in her sweet, adorably cute little voice when she needs or wants something.  A few days ago I finally put away all of her 6-9 month clothes and pulled out her 12 month clothes.  Hilarious, considering she is almost 20 months. She's like a half sized person.  But she is happy and healthy and I'm saving money by not having to keep buying new clothes as fast.  It is also funny when I consider her cousin who is about 4 months younger than her who is seven inches taller and in 18-24 month clothes.  But then again, James and I are fairly short people.  It's certain that all of our children will be fairly short as well.

So the good things that are coming... General Conference this weekend, my youngest brother is going on  a mission in two weeks or so, Halloween, James birthday in November, Thanksgiving, and then Christmas.  We are so excited for the holidays this year.  Once again we have our own place and we intend to start family traditions.  Last year after the Christmas season we went to Wal-Mart at about 5 am and bought all the decorations that were 50% off.  We have so much stuff now and we are so excited to put it all out.  James wanted to start decorating a few weeks ago but I told him we need to decorate for Halloween and Thanksgiving first.  But as we have no decorations for those holidays, and won't till after they go on sale this year, we probably won't decorate much..  I'll just have to go buy a seasonal smelling candle and bake some banana bread (since I have a freezer full of bananas).  Maybe get a pumpkin!  Ah, I love the holidays. I can hardly wait.  I am so glad to have my family and I am so excited for the future as we star our family traditions and set goals.

Really? Oh Boy...

There are so many times when I just have to sit back and force myself to remember to count my blessings.  The times when all I want to do is whine about how hard and unfair life is.  And not just for me.  I want to complain for my husband who pretty much never complains and I want to complain for my friends who have problems.  But those are also the times when I have to remember that life is hard and be honest with myself that life is good.  Things have been very good for us so far in our married life.  Somehow things always work out.  True things are rough but they work out.  Things are going to get really rough here soon because we won't be receiving FAFSA anymore.  I will be graduating in two weeks or so and then I will have to start paying off my loans on top of James not getting anymore loans because he has too many credits.  And we really don't make enough money to cover school and living expenses.  So things are going to be rough and interesting.  I foresee a lot of fasting and prayer in our near future.
 
 But speaking of graduating... Yahoo!  After 7 years I finally did it.  I am so excited.  I have many plans for spending more time with, and giving more attention to my sweet little girly.  She has had to be so patient with mommy and daddy as we work and go to school.  She has handled it surprisingly well, and only been a monster for the past two months rather than the whole time.  I can't wait for these last few weeks to go by so I can shower her with the attention she wants.  She growing up so fast.  She learns most of her words through sign language.  We started teaching her signs when she was teensy and that is her main form of communication.  It is so fun to watch her make connections with the sign and the actual thing.  She's amazing.  Now if we could only get her to say more words.  I don't know if it is just me as her mom, but I think she is pretty advanced.  She makes so many advances before I can catch them and go through the milestone with her.  I feel a little like I'm missing out on a few things.  She suddenly has 8 teeth and I have no idea when the last two came in.  She dances like a pro. She's trying to sing now and that makes me so happy.  I love my beautiful little baby.  She makes my life so rich... and trying.  She drives me crazy and makes me fall in love with her again and again so many times a day.  She is beautiful and sweet.  She gives the best hugs, she even pats me on the back when she hugs, and the best kisses.  She has a smile that melts my heart.  My favorite part of each day is going to get her when she wakes up and smiles when she sees me, and reaches out for me to hold her.  I think of all those magic moments when she suddenly turns into the tiny, havoc reeking monster.  

So all in all, life is hard, we will survive, and I love being a mom even though it can all be pretty trying.

P.S. the last post was supposed to be titled "TRIALS" not trails.

Trials... good or bad?

I have learned over the years of my life that life it tough.  It is hard, and many times unfair, discouraging, and a dang headache.  Right now, for me it's school.  Thank goodness there are only a few weeks left.  Five I think.  Whew... but they are so hard.  Another thing for me right now is having James in school and working full time.  I never see him.  He's either at work or asleep.  It's hard for me to feel like I never get to spend time with him and on top of that, I have to take care of Emily all day and try to squeeze my impossible amount of homework in.
But the great thing about life being tough is that you learn and grow from it.  These experiences, though perfectly horrendous, leave you better off than before.  I hope that my trials now will leave me a better person, a better mother, and a better wife.  I hope that I learn to be able to handle it when James gets a job in his field of study and more than likely will have to work more ridiculous hours.  I hope I learn to be more patient with kids.  Emily drives me crazy really easily right now and I hope it's only because I'm stressed with school.  After school is over I want to do all kinds of fun things with her that we aren't able to do now.  And if/when we add to our family numbers I want to be able to handle it better because of what I learn now.

Starting tomorrow I'm planning to add a new trial to my life.  I am starting the two week phase one fat flush Plan.  I have never dieted worth a darn before so this is going to be hard.  But I'm telling myself over and over again that I can do two weeks.  I can go from there too.  I want to lose weight bad enough that I know I can do this but it will be tough.  James said he'll do it with me so I have some support.  If I can get through this it will be one of the hardest things I've ever done but I want this!  And I know I can do it.  I will grow from this trial... I will grow thin!  Tee hee.  I am actually excited to have a trial!  Good luck to me.

Running!!!!

I love running. Ok so I pretty much waddle (slow jog) right now but I'm getting better. I like the feeling of pushing myself and accomplishing something hard. I have been going to the park three mornings a week with a friend and I have enjoyed it. It wasn't always fun, that's for sure. I get over heated or something and feel like I'm going to be sick or else I get a horrible cramp in my side. And still... I love it anyway!

But the sad news came today that my friend can't go run with me any more because of schedule changes and I have no one to run with. And I can't run alone in this town... that's just dumb whoever and where ever you are. So... my wonderful husband wants to get me a treadmill. We are looking into it have found the one we want but we really don't have a way to get it into our house. The doors are all too small and the box is huge! Well I guess we'd have to unpack it outside and bring the pieces in and put them together. Crazy. We'll see how this goes. But I am excited to be able to keep running even if it's not outside in the fresh morning air anymore. I'm hoping to get to the point where I can run a 5k without much trouble. So far the longest I've actually run in one stretch is 90 seconds. Not far at all. But that's better than nothing and I'm working my way up! That's what counts!

Who knew?!!!

Now why didn't anyone ever tell me veggies were so yummy?

Ok, so many people did... but as a child I thought they tasted so nasty I swore I would never eat them as an adult. I liked peas and green beans and corn (on the cob is the best!) and raw carrots and broccoli and a few others but not much. Veggies needed to be disguised! Cream of mushroom soup and cheese do wonders for veggies. :) and potatoes had to be mashed or fried.

I have, over the years, come to like tomato and lettuce on my hamburgers and sandwiches. I like stir fried veggies and steamed snow peas. I love roasted or grilled asparagus! Ok, so veggies aren't the evil piles of nastiness on my plate between me and my ice-cream anymore.

I have a really good friend, Sara, who has been telling me the wonders of zucchini for years now. So I tried it. I diced it and roasted it. Yummy! It didn't even need a seasoning. Since I was being brave I decided to try a trio of different mushrooms as well. Portabellas, button and baby bellas. I was going to get the shiitaki mushrooms too but they looked like they had a dusting of white powdery mold growing on them... haha mold growing mold :) I think they might have to spend some more time growing on me...an acquired taste I think... a little too slimy for me. And I ate them with chicken... I think mushrooms should be eaten with beef. Beef has a stronger flavor and mushrooms are too strong for chicken. Maybe I should have made a sauce to go with it... but I just ate the mushrooms straight. Maybe that's why...

Anyway, I've learned my lesson. Veggies are ok. And sometimes yummy. Lucky me! I have a new food friend. Welcome to my life Zucchini.

The Zoo!

Yesterday afternoon our little family was invited to go to the Zoo with a family in our ward, the Zahn family. It was a lovely afternoon. The weather was perfect, but just a bit windy. Emily liked seeing the animals and had a good time watching the other kids run around. It was fun to get to know the Zahns. Sara and I had known each other when we were younger but we hadn't seen each other for many years. I'm hoping to be able to work out a schedule to go running with her because I need a buddy and she's wanting to train for a 5K.

There was a playground with baby swings so we pushed Emily in them. At fist she freakedout at the sensation of being let go and pushed away and falling. But then James went behind her and would catch her. And then she figured it out and would laugh went James would push her to me. She never really liked the whole going backward part but she liked having James catch her. And she would laugh so hard when she would swing towards me.

Some of my favorite animals were: The peacocks are beautiful birds that make a really funny noise. The Tigers because they are just beautiful. And Coi fish. I want a coi pond someday. They can get so big and I just thing they are pretty fish.

I took a few picture but these turned out the best.

Emily was so excited she forgot to walk slowly.

Pretty Coi fish. They were so big!

Flamingos!

All the Peacocks were chillin' on the wall.

You mean I have to smile on the sick days too?

For the past week and a half Emily and I have been just a teeny bit sick... runny noses and sore throats. But about four or so days ago James got really sick. He hardly ever gets sick but when he does it's pretty bad. If it's a cold, it's the worst a cold can be. So he's pretty bad right now. It's really not good timing either (when is it ever?) because he has work, school, and sleep that are all getting put on hold. He doesn't like it and won't stay home from work but otherwise I practically have to strap him in bed or else he's up trying to do stuff. If he doesn't rest he won't get better soon, if he doesn't do his homework he'll do bad in his classes, if he stays home from work he'll get upset over a small paycheck, but he can't sleep well because he can't breath through his nose and breathing through his mouth hurts his throat. Poor guy. He can't even talk right now.

Emily is better but still needy. I am feeling overwhelmed with my school and everything else. I don't get the rest I need because I'm a mom and it comes with the territory. But still, aside from being lonely, I'm actually doing ok. I am treading water in my classes and my house is suffering but things are going as well as they can under the circumstances.

Yesterday James let me buy some paper lunch bags so I could try a new craft I've been wanting to try for days. I have been having fun with that today. I realize that I have too many hobbies and they are all draining from our savings. I think it's time to stop them all together and try to find out about adding to our income instead of taking away from it. James wants me to keep up my hobbies because he realizes that they keep me company. But I need to find some hobbies that I enjoy that are more productive... like running or working out. Haha... I need to find a running buddy. That should be my next goal/hobby. I'll work on it. :)

Anyway... yes I can still smile through the hard times and yes I can make it through better than I went in. James and I have been having many conversations about planning for the future. The more we talk about it the more excited we get. I'm so close to graduating and then I can spend more time on other things that require my attention. James has a few years left but I'm here to cheer him on. We are together, unlike a few time in our married history, and we have our beautiful baby girl. We are happy.

Valentine's Day!

Valentine's Day is more than just a "special day everyone gets to celebrate their love for another" for me and James, it's also our half year anniversary. Sadly, I haven't seen him at all today and won't. He got home at 7 this morning ( He bought me beautiful red roses) and went to bed. He got up at 1 where I feed him heart shaped mini-pizzas and he took off to school. He won't be back till about half an hour before he has to go to work. So I might see him tomorrow night or Thursday morning. That's life. That's life with my hard working Forever Valentine.

James has been so cute these past two weeks though. Because he thought he might forget, he got me roses a two weeks early, then chocolates a week early. But he remembered and I got more roses today. He shows me that he loves me even though he can't be here as much as either of us would like. But I am so proud of him for all that he does... and with out complaining too!

Emily has been a good girl all day and now has turned into a little screaming monster. Not sure how to turn that around and be happy about it. Well I guess she's developing her lungs for someday when I teach her to sing. There, I did it. :)

I have a craving for a deep fried chicken cordon bleu! That would be a yummy Valentine's Day dinner wouldn't it? With sour cream garlic mashed potatoes and grilled asparagus and snow peas! I can't wait for the someday when I can make that meal. Tee hee! Oh the things I could think up if I allowed myself. And I'd love to have people over to eat with us. I'm the kind of person who loves to cook for lots of people and not just myself. I like to make people happy through food. And music, and laughing, and, and, and... haha.

Something sweet....

My life is less than perfect. I have no doubt that everyone says that from time to time. Right now my house is a wreck, my homework is ridiculous, I never leave the house, I can't lose my baby weight, and my daughter is very needy right now. I don't really like it, but I remind myself almost hourly that is could be so much worse.

I'm not a hoarder with a house so full of trash you can't move around, the dishes just need to be washed and Emily's toys need to be put away and I should just straighten up my paperwork... I'm just be grateful I am able to get an education and I get to graduate after next semester!... I really do like staying home with Emily and I am grateful I don't have to work and be gone all day. ... I just re-read the Hunger Games and it made me think how glad I am that I'm not starving to death. I gain weight by just thinking about food and it is very hard for me to lose weight but at least I'm not starving.... And I get a baby who finally wants to snuggle. Yes she throws a few tantrums during the day...( which I will fix soon!!!!) and she is suddenly a very picky eater and she won't sleep by herself at night, BUT! I get a baby who I can snuggle and cuddle and hug and kiss and who hugs and kisses me back. Baby kisses fix the world!

I have to try hard to see something sweet in everyday life. I am usually pretty pessimistic and a born complainer but I don't want to be anymore. I am a daughter of God and I have no business looking down on and thinking I'm better than the trials He chooses to send me. Elder Holland said: Nothing is ever so bad that complaining about it won't make it worse... and I fully believe that. With the trials of life come sweet blessing and much happiness.

As I Was Reading...

I was reading Sheri Dew's No One Can Take Your Place and I decided to try and view life a bit differently. This new blog is for every time I want to complain I come here to remember blessings. Sheri Dew quoted Marjory P. Hinckley a few times and there are some quotes I want to remember.

Make life an adventure.

Are there not days when you are simply overwhelmed by the blessings of the Lord?

The only way to get through life it to laugh your way through it.

Life is more than I thought it would be.

I really want to be the kind of person people think of when they think of happy people. Right now I feel like I just don't make a difference to anybody but my wonderful husband keeps reminding me of the good I do here at home and I guess that's what I need to remember.

I love my family. My husband is so great and kind and loving and my daughter is beautiful, sweet, and healthy. I have so many blessing to be thankful for and though it is so much easier to sit around and bemoan my lack of a social life or hate that I have to do homework, I should always try harder to see the good and count my blessings.