Really? Oh Boy...

There are so many times when I just have to sit back and force myself to remember to count my blessings.  The times when all I want to do is whine about how hard and unfair life is.  And not just for me.  I want to complain for my husband who pretty much never complains and I want to complain for my friends who have problems.  But those are also the times when I have to remember that life is hard and be honest with myself that life is good.  Things have been very good for us so far in our married life.  Somehow things always work out.  True things are rough but they work out.  Things are going to get really rough here soon because we won't be receiving FAFSA anymore.  I will be graduating in two weeks or so and then I will have to start paying off my loans on top of James not getting anymore loans because he has too many credits.  And we really don't make enough money to cover school and living expenses.  So things are going to be rough and interesting.  I foresee a lot of fasting and prayer in our near future.
 
 But speaking of graduating... Yahoo!  After 7 years I finally did it.  I am so excited.  I have many plans for spending more time with, and giving more attention to my sweet little girly.  She has had to be so patient with mommy and daddy as we work and go to school.  She has handled it surprisingly well, and only been a monster for the past two months rather than the whole time.  I can't wait for these last few weeks to go by so I can shower her with the attention she wants.  She growing up so fast.  She learns most of her words through sign language.  We started teaching her signs when she was teensy and that is her main form of communication.  It is so fun to watch her make connections with the sign and the actual thing.  She's amazing.  Now if we could only get her to say more words.  I don't know if it is just me as her mom, but I think she is pretty advanced.  She makes so many advances before I can catch them and go through the milestone with her.  I feel a little like I'm missing out on a few things.  She suddenly has 8 teeth and I have no idea when the last two came in.  She dances like a pro. She's trying to sing now and that makes me so happy.  I love my beautiful little baby.  She makes my life so rich... and trying.  She drives me crazy and makes me fall in love with her again and again so many times a day.  She is beautiful and sweet.  She gives the best hugs, she even pats me on the back when she hugs, and the best kisses.  She has a smile that melts my heart.  My favorite part of each day is going to get her when she wakes up and smiles when she sees me, and reaches out for me to hold her.  I think of all those magic moments when she suddenly turns into the tiny, havoc reeking monster.  

So all in all, life is hard, we will survive, and I love being a mom even though it can all be pretty trying.

P.S. the last post was supposed to be titled "TRIALS" not trails.

Trials... good or bad?

I have learned over the years of my life that life it tough.  It is hard, and many times unfair, discouraging, and a dang headache.  Right now, for me it's school.  Thank goodness there are only a few weeks left.  Five I think.  Whew... but they are so hard.  Another thing for me right now is having James in school and working full time.  I never see him.  He's either at work or asleep.  It's hard for me to feel like I never get to spend time with him and on top of that, I have to take care of Emily all day and try to squeeze my impossible amount of homework in.
But the great thing about life being tough is that you learn and grow from it.  These experiences, though perfectly horrendous, leave you better off than before.  I hope that my trials now will leave me a better person, a better mother, and a better wife.  I hope that I learn to be able to handle it when James gets a job in his field of study and more than likely will have to work more ridiculous hours.  I hope I learn to be more patient with kids.  Emily drives me crazy really easily right now and I hope it's only because I'm stressed with school.  After school is over I want to do all kinds of fun things with her that we aren't able to do now.  And if/when we add to our family numbers I want to be able to handle it better because of what I learn now.

Starting tomorrow I'm planning to add a new trial to my life.  I am starting the two week phase one fat flush Plan.  I have never dieted worth a darn before so this is going to be hard.  But I'm telling myself over and over again that I can do two weeks.  I can go from there too.  I want to lose weight bad enough that I know I can do this but it will be tough.  James said he'll do it with me so I have some support.  If I can get through this it will be one of the hardest things I've ever done but I want this!  And I know I can do it.  I will grow from this trial... I will grow thin!  Tee hee.  I am actually excited to have a trial!  Good luck to me.